I prepared for the talking circle

Having suggested the circle I had already begun to prepare.  I found a poem I loved that I felt would set the scene for the 90 minute session and created a plan including:

• Simple guidelines

• An outline for the morning

• The opportunity for a short share at the start of the circle

• A simple somatic movement practice

• Listening partnerships

• A group share

• A group embodiment practice

• A short close

• Next steps

I had asked for the names and details of the people attending - the day before I received their names but no contact details.

I set about preparing the space.  My idea was for each person to light a candle at the start of the session and for there to be a very simple centre piece with a very lightly scented candle.  I put out mats, bolsters, blankets, meditation stools and blocks so attendees would have a variety of options so that they could sit comfortably. 

I was all set! Or so I thought…

The evening before the circle at 10pm I received a message.  Another came at 8am the following morning.  I saw neither of the messages - I had been out that evening and I often give myself space away from my phone in the evening and early morning.  When I came to my phone having set up for the morning session that was due to start at 10:30 I saw them: 6 people had cancelled on the Saturday. Would I be happy to run the session for only 4 people. It was 9am when I saw the message and I messaged back that I would be happy to run the session.  I had done all the preparation and I felt that I had committed the time -as had the 3 other people who would attend. I knew that the person who had agreed to the circle had cancelled their plans for Sunday morning and who knew what plans the other two had cancelled to attend.

I was all set.  15 minutes before the start I entered my studio. 45 minutes later I was still there with no attendees. I picked up the phone to call the organiser. She had cancelled and not told me. 

All that time and effort wasted!  Or was it.  I knew there were lessons that could be learned from what had “not” happened. 

What I learned:

• From taking the time to prepare for the morning I had really leaned into the needs of the demographic I was there to serve - including my own needs

• I learned that I could have been clearer with the organiser about my need to have contact with the people attending the circle - they are likely to have felt more comfortable about attending had they heard directly from me

• It is possible that attendees would have been more likely to commit if they had to pay for the circle (A nominal amount connected to a charity related to the reason we were meeting would have sufficed - I did not feel the need to be paid for my time on this particular occaision.)

• Had the other organiser been paid to recognise their loss of earnings for the morning they may have felt happier about co-hosting

• If the reason for attending could have been made clearer then their might have been more of a commitment.

• A simple WhatsApp group created for the attendees which they would join on booking would have made it simpler to communicate and I would have been kept in the loop with regard to who could or couldn’t come

My circle didn’t happen.  Even though it didn’t happen I benefitted from organising it because of the lessons I learned.  Not only that.  I spoke to a variety of people about the circle before I ran it and after it didn’t occur.  So in some small way the seeds were planted and even though this event didn’t happen I know that there will be future circles that I or others will run that will be influenced by this nearly event.

See also Tessa’s article about whether to charge for a talking circle here: tessavenutisanderson.co.uk/charging-for-talking-circles-article

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